she awakes
rolls out of bed
with a smile
thinks about
her dream
it’s the one
where she’s walking
through the woods
she climbs a tree
and jumps
instead of falling
she floats through
the pale blue sky
she soars as she
gazes at the beautiful scene
she’s awaken gently
so calm and content
while flying she
wakes ready to go
wherever the wind sends
her
5.5.08
1 comment:
Now this poem really paints some pictures! The reader follows her as she rolls out of bed smiling, and recalls the dream with specifics. Nice job.
In the third stanza--I did wonder what the "beautiful scene" was--what makes it beautiful? What did she gaze at? Consider including those details--even if briefly.
In the last stanza, the lines and line breaks are a little awkward--consider:
"she awakens gently/so calm and content while flying/she wakes ready to go/wherever the wind sends her"
(with the / being the line breaks)
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