Just.Another.What?
Size. As many posts as I get around to posting
Age. Born at 3:30 on October 22nd.
Weight. I can write pretty heavy things at time, or something that is as light as a feather.
World meet my blog for all my writings.
I think is really quite fine...just one word that needs some looking at: "would have still... rather than "would of"...
Are you thinking about those people who take their own lives? We really don't know how meaningful even the smallest acts of connection are to people who are feeling alone...
One more comment about the word "given" as in "life should be given to cover the cost" ...would like to hear your thoughts about the word choice of "given" in the poem...
taken is the usual verb when it comes to suicide or other harmful act against another... so interestd in hearing your thoughts about this important word.
Good job of relating the questions one is left with after someone takes their own life.
Here are my thoughts at the moment: I like your use of rhyme here, and the repeating phrase "What if". What if you stayed with that repeating phrase? Is there another way to word the last five lines using "What if" to begin that stanza or section?
What is "the cost" that he thinks giving his life covers?
6 comments:
Grr... the spacing is messed up!
I'm glad you invited me to this blog so I can see what you have been writing.
I think is really quite fine...just one word that needs some looking at: "would have still... rather than "would of"...
Are you thinking about those people who take their own lives? We really don't know how meaningful even the smallest acts of connection are to people who are feeling alone...
Love you always,
Mom
One more comment about the word "given" as in "life should be given to cover the cost" ...would like to hear your thoughts about the word choice of "given" in the poem...
taken is the usual verb when it comes to suicide or other harmful act against another... so interestd in hearing your thoughts about this important word.
XO mom
Okay, thanks!
Yea, I wrote this a little while after I found out about Mitch.
Good job of relating the questions one is left with after someone takes their own life.
Here are my thoughts at the moment:
I like your use of rhyme here, and the repeating phrase "What if". What if you stayed with that repeating phrase? Is there another way to word the last five lines using "What if" to begin that stanza or section?
What is "the cost" that he thinks giving his life covers?
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