Several chances
Anything can happen
Good bad love hurt
Take a chance
Laugh cry live love
We have one life
Several mistakes
Learn from them
Move on
Don’t dwell on the past
Accept lose live
We have one life
See it’s beauty
The smiles and laughs
Create Share Laugh Smile
We have one life
So many chances
Several mistakes
Don’t give up
For there’s beauty
Live
2.14.08
2 comments:
Excellent. After I was diagnosed with cancer some 10 years ago, I made a decision that, no matter what happened, I was going to live my life. I was going to laugh, and smile, and play, and be the person I always wanted to be. That's a whole lot harder to do than to say, but goodness, it does feel good.
Keep writing. You've got great style.
Great sentiments.
I don't use much formal structure when I write poems, but often individual poems have individual structure/pattern of my own making. I like the structure you first set up here, and I'm wondering if you might try revisioning the poem to carry that pattern through.
This is how I read the first grouping:
line 1: We have one life
line 2: Several chances [something we're given in that one life]
line 3: Anything can happen [3-word phrase about that life]
line 4: Good bad love hurt [4 words relating to the previous line -- examples]
line 5: Take a chance [3-word phrase urging the reader to act on that life]
line 6: Laugh cry live love [4 words relating to the previous line -- examples]
You begin to repeat it with:
"We have one life/Several mistakes"
You could try tinkering with the wording in the next two stanzas to mimic the initial pattern.
And the same with the next grouping of stanzas (We have one life/See its beauty). [note: no apostrophe in "its" unless you are using it as "it is"]
Then the last three stanzas where you kind of sum up or refer back to the previous groupings can veer away a bit from the pattern like you have here.
Anyway, probably much too much commentary! These are just ideas to play around with....
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